latest sms jokes

Latest SMS jokes for Friends in English with Image

Hello viewer’s, I am so happy for my all viewer’s. Because they love my site. It is inspired me for write more interesting post. You think, just I joking! Not at all. But I write some Latest SMS jokes for Friends in English with Image only for you. Jokes sms are a fun fact. It can change your off mood. We all know life is very critical. So we all need some enjoyment break for our vital life. Joke is the possess of enjoyment. Some people’s behavior is joking. They enjoy by laughing others. All people like this behavior.

Latest SMS jokes

Latest SMS jokes for Friends in English with Image

Laughing is good for human health. Jokes can create the laugh. So jokes are also good for human. For this reason, I write some special & latest jokes sms only for you. It is also Latest SMS jokes. You will send this sms to your particular person & friends for their enjoyment.

100 Latest SMS Jokes

  1. Wife : whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don’t know what to do?………….. Hasband : keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them…
  2. Seriously first time in India history latest funny event occoured friends…perrol is cheaper than onions in India petrol payaaj se sastaa ho gaya..
  3. New teacher joined in d school
    Teacher- boys tell your names nd hobbies
    1st boy- My name is Raj. My hobby is watching Moon .
    2nd boy- My name is Ranjeet. And my hobby is watching Moon .
    3rd boy- My name is Ravi & hobby is watching Moon .
    Teacher- wow nice nice
    Everyones hobbies are same Ok
    Now girls turn…
    1st girl- Hello mam my name is moon
    Teacher shocked….Boys rocked
  4. The world is here at, Sh@rd@ University.. Where r u?? At a better university.
  5. Teacher- say A B C D
    Paltu- A B C D E F G H I J K L N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z
    Teacher- what is P M?
    Paltu – at Foreign Tour.
  6. A Sweet demand by a kid. A kid was beaten by his mom. Dad came n asked- what happen son? Kid said-I can’t adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own.
  7. A boy was going with his girl friend. Friend asked – who is she? Boy – my cousin. Friend said – last year she was my cousin!
  8. In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa’s wife. WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him! SANTA-Yes Yes. I’m changing d battery of my camera..
  9. Do you know how it feels to love someone who doesn’t love you? It’s like waiting for a boat at the airport.
  10. Impact of Movies: Teacher: Who is Mahatma Gandhi? Student:- He is the one who helped Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend!
  11. If someone calls you crazy, don’t mind, if someone calls you duffer, relax, if someone calls you stupid be cool, but if someone calls you cute. It is too much fun.
  12. Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary? Ans: Secretarysays GOOD MORNING SIR & Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR.
  13. Husband throwing knives on wife’s picture. All were missing the target! Suddenly he received call from her “Hi, what are you doing?” His honest reply,” MISSING U”.
  14. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  15. A successful marriage is based on give & take: Where husband gives money, Gifts, dresses & wife takes it & Where wife gives advices, lectures, Tensions & husband takes it..!!
  16. God has given many qualities to you, Good look, personality, charm, intelligence, & many more……this is call as “Allah meherbaan to gadha bhi pehalwan…”
  17. Difference between Husband & gadha. Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai, but
    Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!!
  18. Teacher: Correct the sentence, “A bull & a cow is grazing in the field” Student : “A cow & a bull is grazing in the field” Teacher : How? Student: Ladies first.
  19. Positive thinking is like…..you are standing on the middle of the road… & suddenly a crow beats on your head…. But you remain calm… & thanks to God… that cows don’t fly.
  20. Positive-thinking poem: Little bird in the sky Dropping shit into your eye you don’t worry you don’t cry, you just thank God that, Cows do not fly Always be positive.
  21. Don’t show so much of love on anyone because it creates a non-curable pain
    when they avoid you.
  22. Two old women were sitting on a bench. 1 old woman: my memory is really bad. 2 old women: how bad is it? 1 old woman: how bad is what?
  23. A man was crying in front of his wife’s cemetery. Suddenly he saw another man crying really loud. The crying man: why did you did this to me?1 man: sorry to ask about your personal  Who is this person? Is this is your wife? Crying man: no. it’s my wife’s 1st husband.
  24. Sardar on phone: Doctor my wife is pregnant. She is having pain right now.
    Doctor: Is this her first child? Sardar: No this is her husband speaking!!!
  25. A good advice from a good friend! I read in the newspaper that drinking beer causes liver cancer so please-stop reading newspapers…cheers……
  26. Your phone has been installed with a new puzzle game. To play, Throw your phone against the wall…..Then assemble the pieces…..
  27. Keep the school clean………stay home!
  28. Send me sms to my cell.
  29. People Says, “SMOKING KILLS SLOWLY……” So What, Who’s in a Hurry..
  30. Teacher: What is the name of the capital city of Punjab? Poltu: Amritsar.
    Teacher: Poltu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.
    Poltu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions?
    Teacher: Yes, go ahead. Poltu: Do you know Jeeto?
    Teacher: No. Poltu: Do you know Preeto?
    Teacher: No. Poltu: Do you know Banto?
    Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people & why do you ask?
    Poltu: Teacher, you need to focus more on your husband.
  31. Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school again? Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football & the game went into extra time.
  32. Pappu: I love you! Girl: Phurrrr…
    Pappu: I’ll even die for you. Girl: Phurrrr…
    Pappu: I can’t live without you. Girl: Phurrrr…
    Pappu: I even bought a diamond ring for you.
    Girl: Really? Pappu: Phurrrrr…
  33. FOLLOW<space>SKYWATER_7 & send it 40404 for free news updates, jokes,poetry,tips.
  34. Your file is downloading. File name – …bfgase546hghytrs63@#^7….what the hell? It’s an error!!!!!!!!
  35. Boy- wills you marry me. Girl- no. boy- please marries. I’ll give you eclairs.
    Girl- with whom I should marry, other boy has told that if you will marry me I will give you dairy milk.
  36. Husbands are like Bluetooth. When they are with wife they are connected & when they are not they are searching for other devices!
  37. Question: Write an easy on “Cricket Match” me. “ No match due to rain”
  38. A student is talking to his teacher.Student: ‘Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?’ Teacher: ‘Of course not.’ Student: ‘Good, because I haven’t done my homework.’
  39. Only Two Types Of Communications Are Fastest In The World…E-Mail To Email
    & Female To Female…
  40. One million copies of a new book soldIn just two days due to typing error of one alphabet in title. ‘An idea,that can change your WIFE’ While real word was(LIFE).
  41. Teacher: Behind every successful man there is a womenwhat do we learn from this? Student: we should stop wasting time in studies and find a woman.
  42. In a classroom Teacher asks a student to count from 0 to 10. Student: 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Teacher: Where is 5?Student: Yesterday I heard in the news that 5 died in a car accident…..
  43. Boys Always Remain Faithfull To Their Girlfriend..!!But, Which Girlfriend?? That’s Still a Topic Of Research..!!
  44. A: Why are you late?B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. A: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it? B: No, I was standing on it.
  45. Teacher: Tell me the name of any Microsoft Product?Poltu: MS Excel
    Lucky: MS Word. Bittu: MS Powerpoint. Pappu after thinking a lot, “MS Dhoni”!
  46. Another Moon?… Possible Another Sun?… Possible Another Sky?… Possible Another person Like you?… Impossible ‘cause God can’t make the same Mistake twice.
  47. A Woody Joke..What wood happn if u had a wooden car, with wooden seats
    wooden tires. & a wooden engine? It Woodmen’s start..!
  48. Night doesn’t become beautiful withstar studded sky and full moon It becomes beautiful when you go to sleep and let stars & moon admire your innocence…Good Night my angel…
  49. Boy: I can’t marry you. My family is not permitting me.
    Girl: Who’s in your family? Boy: My wife & children.
  50. A: Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
  51. Dear receiver, I’m a Blonde Virus. I’m not so advanced, so please delete all your files yourself & also help me to spread by sending to all. Thank you!
  52. What is the height of Flirting? It’s when your love letter starts with: TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN.
  53. A Chinese couple Mr. & Mrs. Hua got twins without marriage. What did they name them?!!!? JO-hua, SO-hua.
  54. I without you & your Love would beLike Facebook without Friends, YouTube without Videos & Google with No Results. Love Me.
  55. A motorist hit a sparrow. He took d unconscious bird, put in cage with bread & water. Bird wakes up, looks around & screams: Saracen! My God! I’ve killed the motorist.
  56. Kiss Is The Key Of Love,Love Is The Lock Of Marriage, Marriage Is The Box Of Children, too many Children means more Problem for the world So Please Stop Kissing & Save the world for a while…
  57. Teacher: What’s the past participle of the verb ‘to ring?’
    Student: What do you think, sir?
    Teacher: I don’t think. I KNOW.
    Student: I don’t think I know either, sir.
  58. Two children are talking.
    A: Meet my new born brother.
    B: Oh, he is so handsome! What’s his name?
    A: I don’t know. I can’t understand a word he says
  59. Who are lizards?Awesome answer by a kid…. They are those poor crocodiles who forgot to have Horlicks when they were young.
  60. Girlfriend sends a text to her boyfriend…If you are sleeping send me your dreams!….If you are laughing send me your smile!….If you are crying send me your tear drops!. …..He replies: I am having a shit, what do I do?
  61. Husband: Have a Nice Day.Wife: Don’t tell me what to do.
  62. Secret formula for married couples…”Love One Another” & if it doesn’t work, bring the last word in the middle!
  63. Papa: Why is your mummy sitting silently today?
    Son: Nothing papa, She asked for lipstick & I heard fevistick.
    Papa: (with tears in eyes) god bless you son.
  64. Oh My GOD things are out of Control!
    G for Gold
    O for Onion
    D for Dollar
  65. Summing up our Indian Economy!Dollar on escalator……. Rupee on a ventilator!
  66. Thoughts on GLOBAL WARMING…Earth is getting Hotter & Hotter Each Day… .. Is She Trying To Impress Jupiter or What?
  67. Believe in love, it has great powers!It can REMOVE Misunderstandings, Anxieties, Worries, Doubts, Fears, Tears, T-shirts, Tops, Jeans, etc.
  68. Thought for the day, when you `Wait` for a Waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you the Waiter?
  69. Question: What is the name of that only book which is liked by almost every student? Ans: FACEBOOK
  70. Marriage is a relationship in which 1 person is always right & the other is always husband.
  71. Millions Of people write Love Letters.But everyone send their 1st love letter mostly to me, Just imagine how lucky I’m! Great words Said by ** DUST BIN **
  72. You can’t buy love but you pay heavily for it.
  73. According to a research87% of young people have back pain. The other 13% have no computer.
  74. Little Johnny: Mam, Will you punish me for something that I didn’t do?? ©_©
    Teacher: Not at all. :|]
    Little Johnny: That’s good. Actually I didn’t do my homework!!!!!
  75. MOM ALWAYS SAID…Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees Mom!!!! Money is made from paper & paper comes from trees. Therefore your argument is
  76. Class Room is Like a Train1st Two Benches are Reserved For VIP. . Next Two Benches are General Coach Then Last Two Benches are much demanded. Because it’s SLEEPER COACH.
  77. Wife & husband always compromise, husband admits that he’s wrong & wife too agrees with him.
  78. Having 1 child makes you a parent but having 2 makes you a referee.
  79. Two Tigers were resting under a tree. Suddenly a RABBIT passed very fastTiger could not make out & asked what that was? 2nd Tiger smiled & said: Fast Food.
  80. A pizza & an apple were thrown down from the 15th floor.
    Which will reach down first?  Ans: The Pizza, as its fast food!
  81. Our language is called the mother tongue because the father never gets a chance to speak..!
  82. Your Ex-Girlfriend Asking If you Can Still Be Friends After A Break-Up….It is Like….
    A kidnapper telling you To Keep In Touch.!!
  83. Sometimes small things in life hurt a lot…. If you don’t agree with me . . . . . . . . . . TRY TO SIT ON A PIN.
  84. Roses are red; Violets are blue. Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo. Don’t feel so angry you will find me there too. Not in cage but outside, laughing at you.
  85. Perfect Example of Attitude
    Paper said to Money: ”you are just a piece of paper”
    Money smiled & said: ”Of course I’m just a piece of paper
    But I haven’t seen a dustbin in my life” *that’s Attitude*
  86. Height of humiliation plus insult…..A grammar freak girlfriend to her boyfriendyou are as useless as an ‘ay’ in ‘okay’…
  87. Driver- That 5 rupee tip you gave me was an insult
    Lady- How Much Should I Tip you
    Driver- Minimum 10 Rupee
    Lady- I Don’t Want To Insult you twice!
  88. Pupil: I do not think I deserved zero on this test! Teacher: I agree, but that is the lowest mark I could give you!
  89. Nice sayingif money grew on trees….. Girls wouldn’t mind dating monkeys.
  90. A Smile Costs Less than Electricity,But Gives More Light. Always Smile & Prove You Are Greater Than Tube Light…!
  91. Whenever you have any problem Just sing any song then you will realize that your voice is…. a lot more badly than your problem…!
  92. Salesman: Would you like to buy a pocket calculator sir.Old man: No thanks, I know exactly how many pockets I have!
  93. Last night I went to bed without you. Cold, thinking of you, missing your warmth, your soft touch against my skin.Where were you last night, my lovely pyjamas.
  94. What is difference between 1st night & last night?If you sleep on flowers, it is 1st night.. If flowers sleep on you, it is Last night.. Scary, but true!
  95. Come like a Horse,Sit like a Thief & Go like a King…. This Slogan was written on a… Public Toilet Door.
  96. Study has proved that all the fools, donkeys; monkeys used their thumbs to read the A physiological messages.Don’t change your finger know it’s too late.
  97. 7 devils met me & they wanted to kill the world’s intelligent person. I gave them your address…see, how I fooled them & saved my Life!
  98. They all ask me anywhere I go, “Now that you are retired old man what do you do?” I tell them bluntly,”Thing I enjoy most these days is turning Beer, Wine & Scotch & Cocktails into Urine.”
  99. Relationship status for married men……..dhobi ka kutta, na ex ka… na next ka….
  100. Benefits of having an iPhone

         1)

        2)

       3)

       4) You look rich

Lastly, I want to say that jokes sms are hilarious messages. You will fully enjoy this sms & inspire me for giving more Latest SMS jokes for Friends in English with Image only for you. I wish, Of course you will enjoy this Latest SMS Jokes Please If you like this sms then comments & give me better Idea & plan. Thank you. May Allah Help you.